My Trans Teenager Has an Eating Disorder: What Can I Do as a Parent?
Do you have a transgender or non-binary teenager at home who has just been diagnosed with an eating disorder? Having a trans teen with an eating disorder can cause panic for any parent. Mourning the adolescent you thought you had is not an easy process and may involve sadness, guilt, and a sense of helplessness. However, it is possible to take actions to reduce gender dysphoria without fueling the eating disorder. Here are six therapeutic approaches that can help your trans teen feel better in their body without increasing the presence of an eating disorder.
1. Accept Your Teen’s Trans Identity
Your teen has not become a completely different person just because they are trans or non-binary. On the contrary, it is simply a new stage in the development of their identity. A Trans identity is just as valid as a cis identity. Accepting your teen and supporting them in their gender affirmation journey is a sign of respect and openness on your part. Don’t hesitate to seek support from groups for parents of trans and non-binary teens if this process is difficult for you.
2. Identify Ways to Experience Gender Euphoria
Gender euphoria to a trans teen, a feeling of joy related to one’s gender identity, is an emotion to foster. In contrast, gender dysphoria, a feeling of incongruence between one’s assigned gender at birth and gender identity, is an extremely negative emotion that must be avoided. A trans teen may use food restriction or excessive physical activity to reduce gender dysphoria, but this only reinforces an eating disorder. A good strategy is identifying ways to experience gender euphoria in order to avoid fueling an eating disorder. These strategies vary from person to person and may include the approaches listed below.
3. Use Gender-Affirming Tools
Gender-affirming tools can help your trans teen feel more comfortable in their body. “Binders,” for example, are chest compression garments that help a trans teen foster a more masculine appearance. “Packers” can give the appearance of having male genitalia, which can affirm the gender of a transmasculine teen. “Padding” is primarily used to give a more feminine appearance to a transfeminine teen’s body. All these affirmation tools can be obtained online or at LGBTQ+ centers. They help reduce gender dysphoria and increase gender euphoria, which in turn can reduce behaviors related to eating disorders.
4. Explore Gender Expression
Just like gender-affirming tools, exploring gender expression through clothing, shoes, and makeup is a way for a trans teen to feel more comfortable in their body. Don’t hesitate to accompany your trans teen in their identity and fashion journey. Exploring different styles is a common process for both cis and trans teens and contributes to the development of your teen’s identity beyond their eating disorder.
5. Explore Medical Gender-Affirmation Methods
Access to hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries is challenging for teens, who often must wait until adulthood for these treatments. However, gender-affirmation methods, such as birth control pills for a transmasculine teen experiencing dysphoria related to menstruation, are more accessible in most cases. For example, taking birth control pills can stop menstruation and reduce the associated gender dysphoria without your teen engaging in disordered eating behaviors to stop their periods. Don’t hesitate to consult your family doctor to see if this is a good option for your teen.
6. Encourage Participation in Activities with a Gender-Affirming Goal if Possible
Being a trans teen can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially for those who lack a social circle of trans and non-binary people. Social activities, such as sports or hobbies, are important tools to help your trans teen build a community. An LGBTQ+ league, for example, can help your trans teen feel more supported and engages them in physical activity with a group that respects their trans identity. The benefits of being supported by peers, such as playing a team sport with other trans and non-binary teens, are undeniable.
Finally, it is possible to work on the relationship with food and gender identity in parallel. Our nutritionists are trained to help your trans teen develop a healthy relationship with food. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with one of our team’s nutritionists to improve your relationship with food and your body.
– Katherine Dulong, Nutritionist, Dt.P
